#65-Make up a Pen Name or Spy Name

Secret: My roommate and I want to be spies.

OK, so it's not really a secret. We kinda tell everyone. And honestly, anyone who says they don't or never have wanted to be a spy is a dirty, dirty liar. Who doesn't want to travel the world kickin' ass and knowing EVERYONE'S business??? I'm not going to lie: it would be kind of awesome.

This is a childhood fantasy I am just beginning to relive (you try watching 4 seasons of Alias in a month and a half and not want to be a spy. I mean, really...), but one that I held very close to my heart as a 12-year-old. My fourth grade teacher, Mrs. Halverson, started the obsession when she read us Harriet the Spy during class. You know, the girl in the raincoat following her neighbors around causing chaos? I loved it. I'm pretty sure I went home immediately, begged my mom to buy me the movie and enough notebooks to make my Five Star Trapper Keeper puke. It wasn't long before I knew the movie by heart and was teaching myself Pig Latin as not to get caught like my ill fated hero (yeah, I was clever). My first target? The easiest: my family. I began following them around "spying" on their daily activity. No channel change, smoke break, or shopping spree went undocumented. I was a damn good spy.

But, like most of my childhood endeavors I soon lost interest, the notebooks disappeared to the ether of numerous forced spring cleanings and I moved on to my next creative escapade.

So here I am again, however many years later, being asked to come up with my own spy name?!?! The one base I didn't cover as a kid and now I get the chance. Unfortunately, when I first read the assignment for this week, I was at a loss. Where to begin? There are so many names and combinations of names that I had no idea where to begin.

Thank god for the internet, yeah? Type 'spy name generator' into Google.com and you get 1,400, 000 results. ONE MILLION, FOUR HUNDRED THOUSAND results. Overwhelming much? Luckily, I quickly discovered that most of them take you the same two sites, so I played around with both of them for a while.

The first one you just click a button and a new name comes up every time. Here are some of my favorite: Ivana Tomato, Princess McPerky, Slammer Hardcastle, Stone Handsomeman, and Anastasia Pants. Much like my dream to write the blurbs on the taco bell sauce packages, I now want to be a spy name generator writer. I may not be able to come up with a creative name for myself, but I could come up with some random-ass words to type into a name bank. Ivana Tomato? Really? Awesome.

After the hilarity with the first generator, I moved on to one that generates one based on your real name. Although I highly doubt there was much calculation on the perfect spy name for me, it makes me feel special all the same. I typed in my name, and just to spice things up I opted for a male spy name. They get the better ones anyway (Slammer Hardcaslte? My point exactly).

*click* Drumroll please....

Hell yeah! My new spy name? Atticus Flanagan. Crotchity old Irish guy? Done and done. You shall hence forth refer to me as such. Bad ass.

Well, that was easy. Maybe not the most creative way to accomplish my assignment, but I had fun all the same.

And as for my spying activity from here on out? I may not be able to kick ass like Sydney Bristow and save the world from all the Arvin Sloanes and Sarks out there, but I can do some serious Facebook stalking? I think that counts as spying...yeah? Well, it'll have to do for now. I'll let you know if the CIA ever comes a-knockin'.

-A. Flanagan